Friday, November 4, 2011

It's hard but what can I do

My son came home from school today just short of hysterics. He got off the bus very emotional and was quite adamant about moving back to Indiana. He tells me he has been angry about our move for some time and has kept it bottled up. Now it is all coming to a head - right in my kitchen.
My husband took a new job in Alabama because he needed to go in a new direction - same road, new lane. He had been unhappy with his previous job for quite a while and this new job seems to really fit him perfectly. As a family, we looked at the pros and cons and decided that Alabama was the way to go.
Has it been hard? Heck yes. Have I wanted to go back home? Weekly but it's getting better. I think I am down to monthly.  Do I think we made a mistake? No - change is hard.
When I get frustrated and down I reflect on my new friends that I have made here that are military. They move every 3 years without much thought. It's part of the job. Yes, they have seen the world but it still is hard to have continuity in your life when you have to pull up stakes and move often. I also reflect on my friends who have had to move far and what they have done. We opted to do that college idea about moving away from home - staying away until the first break. For us, that is Christmas. It seems to have worked for the most part. My kids have been too busy on the weekends to fret too much.
We miss our friends and all of our activities with our friends. All of my kids were active in Scouts and other activities and now we must all start over. Rules of engagement are different here but we are adjusting.  We had to start over and that is hard on anyone. Especially a 15 year-old boy who has autism and struggles making friends. He has been on the top of our list of concerns since day one but I firmly believe that he is doing well. Yes, he is struggling but so aren't we all. He has friends and he is active and even found a Boy Scout troop here.
I completely understand why he is upset. My husband has received a few phone calls and texts from me stating that I had it and I was moving North. Did I? No, and I might add that he didn't deserve those calls or texts. I figured out how to cope and adjust to all of my changes and hopefully my son will soon also. We are all growing every day - even if it's painful.

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